I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely to carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others who are around you feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If a positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong in itself, but dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

The fact is that there are any number of apparently confident people who can do marvelous things but who have poor self-esteem. Many people in the public eye fall into this category. Actors and comedians and singers in particular can seem to glow with assurance ‘on stage’, and yet off-stage many of them feel desperately insecure.

Indeed, individuals can be stunningly attractive and world-famous, and seem poised and perfect – yet still, deep down, find it hard to value themselves. Think of the late Princess of Wales and Marilyn Monroe and you’ll accept, I think, that public adulation is no guarantee of self-belief.

So, if self-esteem isn’t quite the same thing as confidence, what is it?

Well, the word ‘esteem’ comes from a Latin word which means ‘to estimate’. So, self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.

To do that you need to ask yourself certain questions:

• Do I like myself?
• Do I think I’m a good human being?
• Am I someone deserving of love?
• Do I deserve happiness?
• Do I really feel – both in my mind and deep in my guts – that I’m an OK person?

People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer ‘yes’ to these questions. Perhaps you are one of them.  If you’re reading this, you might be.  Don’t despair.  Just read on!

The concept of self-esteem can be summed up as:  Confidence in our ability to think and in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life and confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feelings of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.

We also commonly think that self-esteem is merely about how we feel about ourselves at any particular moment. While seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to believe that we have positive or negative self-esteem and that we make that determination simply by how we feel about ourselves.

However, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent existence. We do not just simply feel. Rather, for every feeling or emotion that we have, either positive or negative, there is a corresponding thought that we have about ourselves that generates the experience of self-esteem.

Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is merely how our psyche experiences the thoughts that we have about ourselves. If a person has positive thoughts about him or herself they will experience positive or good self-esteem. On the other hand, if the individual has negative thoughts about whom they thinks they are then they will experience poor or negative self-esteem.

Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem is all about and more importantly to be able to alter it when necessary for ones wellness or healing, we must first get it that self-esteem is really about our thinking, and more specifically about the thoughts that we develop or create about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs that we have about ourselves are crucial in that they determine or create the structure of our experience of self-esteem and the various emotions associated with it.

We also tend to think of our self-esteem as being something that is shaped by the events that take place in our life, particularly those from our past. We tend to believe that who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely the product, effect or caused by the experiences that we have had in the past – it says that we are who we are by virtue of what has happened to us as human beings.

More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the matter of whom we think we are and our self-esteem is due to circumstance, situation or others, people, places and things. We do not tend to think that our self-esteem is something we actually developed or created.  Our personal self-esteem is shaped by our past and the experiences we have had in our lives.

We created our thoughts and with it our emotions from the meaning that we gave to the events that took place in our life, especially at an early age. We give meaning to everything in our life including and most importantly to ourselves. At an early age the meaning that we give an event tends to be made out to be all about us. While events do happen it is not the events that are important but rather the meaning that we give them and especially how we made it out to be about our identity.

Living in a state of low self esteem can be very damaging to the quality of life you lead on a daily basis. Your self esteem is YOUR opinion of yourself, but far too many people allow others to influence or even make up their opinion for them. It sounds so very silly, but if you think on this you will realize how certain events, comments and encounters helped to “make or break” your self esteem.

Next week let’s look at some indicators that you might have low self-esteem.

Regards,

Stan Sykes

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When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities, and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.

An adult who has healthy self-esteem was given this gift in childhood.  This could have been done in many ways.  Probably one of the most important is being praised for accomplishments.  Children who are talked to respectfully and listened to also contributed to healthy self-esteem in adulthood.  These children were hugged often and given attention and experienced some type of success in school or sporting activities.

On the other side of the spectrum, we have to identify the childhood for those adults who have poor self-esteem.  These children were often criticized harshly, were yelled at or beaten, and were given little attention by those they were closest to.  They were ridiculed and even teased as they experienced failures in their young lives.  They were made to feel they had to be perfect in order to be valued and associated failure in situations as a failure of their whole selves.

It’s sad, isn’t it?  To think of a child treated that way.  What’s even sadder is the effect that treatment has on their lives as adults.  We are shaped and molded by our experiences.  Do you recognize yourself?

How we feel about ourselves can influence how we live our lives. People who feel that they are likable and lovable (in other words people with good self-esteem) have better relationships. They are more likely to ask for help and support from friends and family when they need it. People who believe they can accomplish goals and solve problems are more likely to do well in school. Having good self-esteem allows you to accept yourself and live life to the fullest.

Self-esteem plays a role in almost everything we do. People with high self-esteem do better in school and find it easier to make friends. They tend to have better relationships with peers and adults, feel happier, find it easier to deal with mistakes, disappointments, and failures, and are more likely to stick with something until they succeed. It takes some work, but it’s a skill you’ll have for life.

This book is about how to raise your self-esteem, so we will focus on the low self-esteem that many people have these days.  You can overcome issues with low self-esteem.  It’s not as difficult as you might think.  In fact, all you have to do is recognize, understand, and use the techniques we will give you.

One of the initial questions we feel compelled to address is what exactly self-esteem is. Find out next week.

Regards,

Stan Sykes

But the most important place we need to apply esteem is within ourselves.  We must maintain our self-esteem in order to place value on ourselves as a worthy individual in the world.  Self-esteem can affect every single part of our lives.  If that esteem is low, our lives will be dull and gray.  Elevating esteem for ourselves could very well be the key to happiness in life. However, balance is so important. A guide from the Good Book says “Not to think more highly of yourself than you ought”. We will deal with this later.

Most people’s feelings and thoughts about themselves fluctuate somewhat based on their daily experiences. The grade you get on an exam, how your friends treat you, ups and downs in a romantic relationship-all can have a temporary impact on your wellbeing.

Your own self-esteem, however, is something more fundamental than the normal “ups and downs” associated with situational changes. For people with good basic self-esteem, normal “ups and downs” may lead to temporary fluctuations in how they feel about themselves, but only to a limited extent. In contrast, for people with poor basic self-esteem, these “ups and downs” may make all the difference in the world.

People with poor self-esteem often rely on how they are doing in the present to determine how they feel about themselves. They need positive external experiences to counteract the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly plague them. Even then, the good feeling (from a good grade, etc.) can be temporary.

Healthy self-esteem is based on our ability to assess ourselves accurately (know ourselves) and still be able to accept and to value ourselves unconditionally. This means being able to realistically acknowledge our strengths and limitations (which is part of being human) and at the same time accepting ourselves as worthy and worthwhile without conditions or reservations.

What we want to do is help you raise your self-esteem to levels that will enhance your life and the way you view life.  It can make a tremendous difference in your quality of life.  Learning techniques to raise self-esteem can be taught and put into practice in just a few days.  However, it will take practice to keep your self-worth at the forefront.

Next Session:     Where does our Self-Esteem come from?

Have a great week.

Stan Sykes

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The desire to improve is paramount here.  If we get to the point of thinking that we no longer need to improve, we are showing how closed our minds are, and how entrenched our attitudes.  This approach to life doesn’t allow for change, and doesn’t allow for development.   To be a fully rounded and healthy person, it is necessary to be able to respond to changes in our lives, in our environments and in our hearts and minds.

Rigidity in life will impact not only on ourselves, but on others, and will make our lives difficult when change is necessary or forced upon us.

No-one is perfect, and no-one knows everything there is to know.  Thankfully we generally don’t need to know everything, but we do need to know when we need to learn something, and when we need to develop new skills and abilities.

Generally speaking, it helps to have a goal or two in mind to guide our self-development program, and to have the right sort of attitude.  For example, it’s best not to get too worried about what it is you can’t do, or need to improve.  Rather, we should take the knowledge of our shortcomings and examine ways in which we can improve.  Worrying will do no good at all.  Our energy should be directed to working out exactly what it is we need to do better and how.

Confidence is everything really, and confidence in your ability to learn and improve will make an amazing difference to your success.  If you are convinced that you can’t learn something, then you have already lost the battle.  If you can tell yourself that if other people can do it, then so can you, this is a sign that you are on the way to success.

Making the most of yourself means treating others as you would like to be treated yourself.  Treat people with respect and you are showing that you are worthy of respect too.  So don’t mess people about, do make sure you are on time if you have arranged to meet someone, and do be courteous and pleasant. If you patronize someone or treat them dismissively, they will remember this about you, and this will not be helpful to you should you need at some point to ask them a favour, or if you find that you are employing them.

Once you have given yourself permission to be confident about your abilities, and to hold your head high with others, you can really work on the aspirations for improvement.  Make sure you aim high enough.  Low level goals are too easy, and don’t test your abilities sufficiently.  Aiming too high means you are less likely to meet your target – so maybe you need to set goals that divide up the big task and deal with these one at a time.  It is important to make a realistic assessment about how you are going to achieve your goals.

Once you know what you are aiming for, you need to make a sensible plan of how you are going to get there.  Plans are essential.  Plans allocate time for certain tasks, and break tasks down into manageable proportions.  Plans enable you to make the best use of your time, and to develop the skills required to get things done.

It is important to be goal oriented.  It is all very well reading up on something, but you need to put theory into practice.  For many people, it’s a matter of lots of talk, but not so much action.  With everything you do, try and ensure there is a measurable outcome that you can identify as a target, and can be seen to be done.

Don’t let obstacles get in your way.  When things get difficult, it’s important that you don’t give up.  If we never have to overcome problems on our way, we would find life to be an easy ride.  The test is how you overcome problems on the road to achievement and success.

If you consider some of the most successful people in the world today, you will find many of them have had more than one career, and many of them have experienced failure in the first degree and continued on to great future success. This reflects their self belief and determination.

So when things go wrong, learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others.  Never think you know best all the time, and acknowledge that sometimes you do.  You should always think it possible to learn something new.

There are various stages in the path to self development.   First, you need to take stock of yourself, your life and your dreams.  If you don’t have any dreams, or visions of the future, then you need to spend some time working out where you are going in your life, and whether you should be changing anything.

You need to consider carefully whether your attitudes, feelings and beliefs, your behaviour and your actions, are quite what you want them to be.  Are they going to hinder or help you achieve your goals and desires?  Or do you need to take steps to retrain yourself in certain ways, and work towards a healthier, better life management plan?

Self confidence, self belief, a certain amount of modesty, a positive attitude and a serious commitment are all essential elements to self-development.  Self development involves work, but it is work that will enable you to live your life fully, and give you the satisfaction of making not only your own dreams come true, but helping others to do so too.

Why not email me and let me know how you are moving forward. It helps sometimes to share your goals with others.

Email stan@libertytelecoms.com.au

Next Session: Learn Self Confidence

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It’s a talent that everyone has, yet they think they don’t. The power of innovation. If you’ve ever marvelled at somebody’s creative prowess, guess what, you can create and innovate too. It just takes

time.

Everyone is born creative. The box of crayons in kindergarten were not limited to those who possessed potential; because the truth is, everybody has potential.

You know how long it took to learn to ride a bike or drive or to never commit the same mistake again? It’s the same with innovation. It takes a  bit of practice and a lot of time before this mind function comes easily  when called. This article will teach you a few tips on how to bring innovation into your life.

Don’t listen to what other people say. Follow the beat of your own drum. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don’t waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They won’t, and the help you will probably get comes in the form of negative feedback. If all those geniuses listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.

Spend time on it. I cannot stress that enough, although, please do not mistake this tip to tell you to quit your day job entirely. Do not. This involves some tricky time management but with a little discipline you’ll be able to squeeze both in.

Exercise. Take a walk. Run a mile or two. Send all those endorphins coursing through your veins. Exercising certainly clears and relaxes your mind and allows for anything to pop up.

Record your dreams. Aren’t some of them just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of? If you’ve had these dreams before, and I’m sure you have, this only shows you the untapped innovative power you have lying within. So jot down those notes. Those dreams may just create an innovative spark in you.

Find your own style. You can always tell a Van Gogh from a Matisse. You’ll know Hemingway wrote something by the choice of words on the paper. So it is the same with you. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours and that no one else would have thought of what you were thinking. That will let people see how valuable an asset you are.

Don’t hide behind nifty gadgets or tools. You don’t need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece. The same way with writing. You don’t need some expensive fountain pen and really smooth paper for a bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue. So what if you’ve got an expensive SLR camera if you’re not a very good photographer? Who cares if you’ve got a blinging laptop if you can’t write at all? The artist actually reduces the number of tools he has as he gets better at his craft: he knows what works and what doesn’t.

Nothing will work without passion. What wakes you up in the mornings? What keeps the flame burning? What is the one thing that you’ll die if you don’t do? Sometimes people with talent are overtaken by the people who want it more. Think of the hare and the tortoise. Ellen Degeneres once said that if you’re not doing something that you want to do, then you don’t really want to do it, and that’s true. Sometimes you just want something so bad you become a virtual unstoppable. That is passion. Passion will keep you going.

Don’t worry about inspiration. You can’t force it. Inspiration hits when you least expect it to, for those unpredictable yet inevitable moments you should prepare. An idea could strike you on the subway, yet alas, you poor unfortunate soul, you have no sheet of paper to scribble down a thought that could change the world. Avoid these disasters. Have a pen and paper within your arm’s reach at all times.

I hope this article has helped you bring more innovation into your life. Keep in mind that you’re doing these things for your own satisfaction and not anybody else’s. Soon enough they will notice, and everything should snowball from there.

Regards,

Stan

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Liberty stands for Freedom. We desire to see people FREE in all areas of their lives.

E.M.I. stands for Educate, Motivate and Inspire. Our goals for helping people.

We truely hope you find our blog and links of help and interest. Please let us know your comments and if you would like us to share on a particular topic.

Kind regards,

Stan Sykes

Staying Motivated:

Motivation is what keeps us going. It is the reason people succeed and the reason people fail. Motivation is the drive someone has to complete a task. The ingredients of motivation are combined with many factors which include simplicity, attitude, the people you hang around, the way you think, knowing yourself, helping other people and so much more. The purpose of this blog message is to take you through methods you can practice on a daily basis to remain motivated. These techniques can help you feel better about yourself in everything you do. You can take these methods with you when you go to work and when you are at home.

Motivation is the spark everyone needs to make it throughout the day, to set and meet goals, and more. Without motivation you will fail. When you have apathy toward something you are not motivated because you couldn’t care either way. This is the worst attitude you can have because it isn’t negative either. Someone who feels this way isn’t capable of achieving anything because they don’t care if they do or not. If you are feeling this way this Blog message is exactly what you need to help you overcome your attitude and begin feeling motivated again.

When you know how to remain motivated with yourself you can also help others because your attitude will be contagious.

When you practice daily motivational techniques eventually they will come to you naturally. At first some of these methods may be difficult for you to do or to remember. It will take time for you to begin to naturally practice and follow these techniques.

Keeping It Simple:

When thinking about motivation the first thing you need to do is create your space around you at work and at home. This space needs to remain simple and positive. The things around you have a lot to do with the way you feel and if you will be motivated or stuck in a rut.

Your office or work space (if possible) should contain and display items that make you feel positive about life and about reaching goals. If you have goals and things you would like to do it might be a good idea to post these things on the wall of your office or your cubicle or work space. This way you have a constant reminder of the things you would eventually like to do. Only you know where you would like to be in the future.

You should create your space as a constant and positive reminder that you are working to get there. Create a positive atmosphere around you no matter where you are. This also includes the car you drive. If you spend many hours in the car commuting everyday make it a positive space. This means clean it up. Don’t drive around a depressing vehicle that is full of trash and paperwork. Get your car detailed and begin to take care of it. You would be surprised how good you will feel when you clean up your car. A clean home and clean office space make a really big deal when you need motivation.

If you find yourself sitting in mounds of paperwork you might have the attitude you are never going to complete the things you need done. A messy workspace can be frustrating and depressing. It may cause you to procrastinate and even be disorganized with your thoughts as well as your work. A messy and dirty home can be depressing and disabling. Many people will sit around procrastinating for hours in a messy home. It is amazing how good a clean home can make you feel. The best thing you can do is clean up your home. You will feel great and ready to take on anything.

Get rid of those clothes which have been sitting in the closet for years that you haven’t worn once. Clean out the mess in the shed and the garage. Don’t just wipe down the counters and do the dishes. Clean house means create a new space that is positive and ready for the new to come into your home. Get rid of all of the old. The space you spend your time in includes your car, home, and the office space you work in. It has a lot to do with the way you feel and the attitude you have when you wake up in the morning.

Clean up the spaces you live in and make a positive atmosphere for you to enjoy and want to have a good day. You will finally see the goals as achievable rather than sit around thinking about them.

Keep a look out for the next weekly session on Staying Motivated.

We look forward to your comments as together we can help create a world of difference.

If you would like to receive a regular email from Liberty about our Blog site please send email to stan@libertytelecoms.com.au

Kind regards,

Stan Sykes – Liberty E.M.I.

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